When Goals Change

Remember when I mentioned the Pizza in this previous post about motivation?

In it I talk about the quality of “Quantity over Quality”.

You really do learn, just like I am learning a lot in my first month of writing everyday more than 500 words per post.

I learned that I was doing something for fun in the beginning but, when the fun was gone, that’s when another goal started to rear it head. I wanted money.

Image result for anime noragami money~ funny
Me questioning if I should sell Yukine (fun) for money

I know I sound like a villain in a bad blogging story but it was the truth. And you are bound to have days when all the problems you have in life start pilling up and fun is no longer an option you can take. Maybe your day has been going terribly and nothing, not even your favorite anime can get you to come over to the computer and write. Maybe, if you’re really unlucky, that day is a day no series that you particularly care about are on.

You’re out dry on news you could mention and are lost in the many ideas you could have to post. And when I was thinking of what post to write about today I started to realize… Do I like anime that much? Can I really post everyday on this topic? Am I not taking into account my current health conditions affecting my attention span? Should I do what everyone is telling me to do and just focus on painting and drawing? Do. I. Want. to. Continue? Even if it’s no longer fun?

That’s when I saw a video on the internet of a famous hypnotherapist saying “Do what you hate to get what you want” and one from a more controversial person, Jordan Peterson, on Discipline.

Jordan Peterson “It’s really really useful to subjugate yourself to something voluntarily.” “If you haven’t found your passion, then don’t wait around till you find the damned thing. Pick something and focus on it. (…) For a number of months or even years.”

I knew my goal had changed. I was no longer the motivated self-confident self I was in the beginning when I started writing the blog. Things change. In the beginning it was for fun because I was motivated. But when that motivation failed for a few days only a few things remained. My enjoyment for writing my thoughts out regarding something and my very big wish to be a part of well known bloggers who were able to maintain a stable income.

When I started to write on this blog I had a few things in mind for what I should write about. I have certain things I used to do a lot in order to have fun:

  • Manga – Used to spend entire days from morning to night reading manga.
  • Watching funny anime commentators and Abridged episodes on Youtube
  • Self-Help Books – I used to read a lot of these back in the day

However, I missed a crucial point. I was healthy when I pursued these passions. After I got sick I had a hard time doing almost anything that required long periods of concentration. And yes… Anything over 5 minutes that I didn’t want to do was included on the list. If I wanted to be an anime commentator, I might be in for some problems.

That’s when I started to come across some bigger questions. Nowadays, I enjoyed free writing the most, watching my current favorite series and painting.

I only had my favorite series come up every once a week and if a series didn’t grab my attention immediately, it was dropped. Just thinking of starting to watch an anime that would bore me to tears was especially difficult. Not to mention, having to catch up to current episodes with the series I didn’t want to watch as much, was very complicated.

So I decided to keep writing and writing and seeing where it would take me. If I could just do what I wanted I’d alter the name of this blog to mean something a bit more general and just go from there. But I don’t want to give up just yet.

I want to keep trying to watch my anime and manga and commenting on it. Hopefully this more difficult time in my life passes me by just a little to give way to something I appreciate doing more. Hopefully my stubbornness pays off.

Here’s to writing everyday!

Image result for kanpai anime

And until next time 🙂

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